December 20, 2017

I was carelessly leaving my umbrella home as I didn't expect it to rain.

The forecast failed me that day and I decide to ensconce my self in a book cafe with a warm heater, at the intersection.

Deemed light, quiet, with only a vacant seat near the window because I thought it was rather cold to sit there, well, no other seats available and I didn't have much choices. I comforted my self first, still thinking of what I would do or at least order a glass of worth-enjoyed drink by myself. People were at least talking with someone across, busy with their earphones, and absorbed in a book. 

I left my bag and got up to the counter.

"Vanilla Latte."

"Iced"

there was a lady behind the counter, maybe two to three years older, frowned at me.

"Iced?" she repeated or asked? I didn't have the idea. I frowned back and she looked like finally assured with my frown. 

"it would be 4.5 dollars."

I left the counter to see around the shelves.

Novel. Romance. Shakespeare's to George Eliot's.

Ah, there's one I have been loving since kid, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's Le Petit Prince.

My hand involuntarily took out the book, exactly, at the time my name was called from the counter. My vanilla latte was ready.

They gave me a brown tray.
With a glass of cold vanilla latte, and freebies. 
Two churro-s and chocolate on the white saucer.

And that latter-day, the rain was sadly getting heavier and sky turned dark. It was five to fifteen. And oops! Someone has occupied the seat across where my bag laid.

I would be hurt for him taking anyone's seat but also the guilt would be on me if then I reprimanded giddily.

"your seat?" his very own words travel and firstly laid on my heartbeats, like a pacemaker. I was almost incidentally got arrhythmic from dismay that his voice sounded so collected. No, it's only nothing. I wouldn't say I was mesmerized, just, how he laid his eyes on me ruled my autonomic response. He might take adrenaline before and propagate its effect through either his eyes or voice. Does it sound intellectual? or stupid?

I never known nor read any journals stating adrenaline could deploy through sound or sight, either. But, let's make it sense, first. I wouldn't just be this thumped merely with his single look on me.

"if you don't mind, sharing table is bearable, right?" he continued.

I looked around, scanning the room. No vacant seats, well, he got the point.

That afternoon, the rowdy rains saved me.

December 15, 2017

Days had passed, through the loneliness on the air.

Times had much gone, through the endless calling.

Because without you, I would be always waiting.

Because without you, I believe you'd come, one day.

There was a day, when I hope I would give up on you, because giving up means I would turning my way finding better direction. But my heart seems too steadfast that I can't even replace the rotten part of the memories we had and made it damn torturing. I have learned that there was no one could be you, because even if I am without you, your every shadow still remains, apparently, that I still couldn't believe that you had gone for years.

Good for you.

Not good for me. 

I was wrong.

I was wrong that I let my self to bump into you when in the end nothing would remain except the longing you forced me to swallow. I have been lost, walking too far to find you.

I want you to pay!

for the time being.

I have been looking for you.

I have lost in myriads of tears.