vanilla latte

Vanilla Latte [3]

11.28

December 20, 2017

 

ONE: THAT AFTERNOON

It was around april, in spring. 
I was carelessly leaving my umbrella home as I didn't expect it to rain.
The forecast failed me that day and I decide to ensconce my self in a book cafe with a warm heater, at the intersection.
Deemed light, quiet, with only a vacant seat near the window because I thought it was rather cold to sit there, well, no other seats available and I didn't have much choices. I comforted my self first, still thinking of what I would do or at least order a glass of worth-enjoyed drink by myself. People were at least talking with someone across, busy with their earphones, and absorbed in a book. 

I left my bag and got up to the counter.

"Vanilla Latte."

"Iced"

there was a lady behind the counter, maybe two to three years older, frowned at me.

"Iced?" she repeated or asked? I didn't have the idea. I frowned back and she looked like finally assured with my frown. 

"it would be 4.5 dollars."

I left the counter to see around the shelves.
Novel. Romance. Shakespeare's to George Eliot's.
Ah, there's one I have been loving since kid, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's Le Petit Prince.
My hand involuntarily took out the book, exactly, at the time my name was called from the counter. My vanilla latte was ready.

They gave me a brown tray.
With a glass of cold vanilla latte, and freebies. 
Two churro-s and chocolate on the white saucer.

And that latter-day, the rain was sadly getting heavier and sky turned dark. It was five to fifteen. And oops! Someone has occupied the seat across where my bag laid.

I would be hurt for him taking anyone's seat but also the guilt would be on me if then I reprimanded giddily.

"your seat?" his very own words travel and firstly laid on my heartbeats, like a pacemaker. I was almost incidentally got arrhythmic from dismay that his voice sounded so collected. No, it's only nothing. I wouldn't say I was mesmerized, just, how he laid his eyes on me ruled my autonomic response. He might take adrenaline before and propagate its effect through either his eyes or voice. Does it sound intellectual? or stupid?

I never known nor read any journals stating adrenaline could deploy through sound or sight, either. But, let's make it sense, first. I wouldn't just be this thumped merely with his single look on me.

"if you don't mind, sharing table is bearable, right?" he continued.

I looked around, scanning the room. No vacant seats, well, he got the point.




That afternoon, the rowdy rains saved me.

Diary

Without You

21.53

December 15, 2017

Days had passed, through the loneliness on the air.

Times had much gone, through the endless calling.

Because without you, I would be always waiting.

Because without you, I believe you'd come, one day.

There was a day, when I hope I would give up on you, because giving up means I would turning my way finding better direction. But my heart seems too steadfast that I can't even replace the rotten part of the memories we had and made it damn torturing. I have learned that there was no one could be you, because even if I am without you, your every shadow still remains, apparently, that I still couldn't believe that you had gone for years.

Good for you.

Not good for me. 

I was wrong.

I was wrong that I let my self to bump into you when in the end nothing would remain except the longing you forced me to swallow. I have been lost, walking too far to find you.

I want you to pay!
for the time being.
I have been looking for you.
I have lost in myriads of tears.

  

Dari Hati

Between Hustle

23.18

November 29, 2017

My heart beats crazily forget to ease.
The morning nowadays start with half running, half breathless, and half curse.

Between the hustle.

I, of course, never failed to catch you.
The morning coffee that soothes my thumping heart.
My morning caffeine lies on your weary eyes of last night's stay up.
Your restless smile appeases all worries.

Between the hustle.

Your hello is composing.



vanilla latte

Vanilla Latte [2]

22.52

 November 18, 2017


MY VANILLA LATTE

He came long after I have been in love with vanilla latte iced too much. He filled the remaining spaces inside my heart and sometimes made me lost of breath because he poured me too much loves with his cheesiness. 

Thing, he never figured out is I finally come with permanent logic that vanilla latte should automatically come with his presence, which make it a lot hurts when he doesn't come along with.

The glass slowly marred with dew around. Small drops, trickling down the tube later, ratting the wooden table, finally and it would be time he came with his cup of americano and composed smile. 

there was no need of texts nor calls. 

there was nothing such appointment.

he just knew it he should come.

Vanilla Latte is not merely a glass of coffee with latte. 

Vanilla Latte I was familiar with were plus his presence and shared earphone, plus our little argue of what to listen, plus a pinch he laid on my cheek, plus the gaze from his small eyes.

 

Drama

Korean Dramas' Feast

21.40

October 21, 2017
 
These toils almost reach the end, at least, for sometimes, it would finally give me a little break. I am leading my final year's of pre-clinical study. It's been almost three and half years bustling with lectures, lab-works, exams, and all university's dramas. Yes, it's relieving that I am seeing the end, but not yet free from all tensions. 
 
Lectures are still lining up.

My research still has a long way.

And many korean dramas distract my way.

Painfully agree, that the whole week dramas are too good to be ignored.

These are those distracting babies I am currently watching...

1. Witch's Court (KBS2 Mon-Tue) 
  

This drama plot a story of a female prosecutor who is obsessed by winning the case meets a young prosecutor who is a former psychologist. I guess this two prosecutors have somewhat a connection to one another. One decent story about law and politic. 
  
2. 20th Century Boy and Girl (MBC Mon-Tue)
 
 
The reason I am watching this drama is Han Ye Seul. She is always able to pull the characters well and I also love her acting here. It's a light romance drama involving childhood friends. Even though, I am not familiar with the actress and actors here, it's still a refreshing drama to watch. 
  
3. Temperature of Love (SBS Mon-Tue) 
 
 
This is love between not-so noona-and- a young man. I have ever seen these two main leads in a drama before "Romantic Doctor, Teacher Kim". The story evolves around the love between a writer and a chef who are also pursuing their own dreams, marred with triangle loves and work obstacles.  
 
4. Because This is My First Life (tVN Mon-Tue)
 
 
This is one fun drama with thousands of cringe worthy moments. It's a little bit unrealistic love situation, but somehow it's so fun to watch. These simply portray various type of couple, one with financial motives, one with pure love and the obsession to get married, and the other is such a carefree relationship? 
 
5. While You were Sleeping (SBS Wed-Thu)
 
 
Yeah! Lee Jong-suk and Bae Suzy, such an epic match! At first I thought it would be just another romance drama. But these one also involves criminal and court story. It's a plot about a prosecutor, reporter, and a policeman who can foretell the future through their dreams and they try to protect others by preventing them to happen. 

6. Avengers Social Club (tVN Wed-Thu)
 
Three middle-aged women try to get a revenge. Each, with their own history and background. Interesting, fun, and addictive. 
 
7. The Package (JTBC Fri-Sat)
 
 
8. Revolutionary of Love (tVN Sat-Sun) 
 
Just another chaebol and poor girl drama, a classic story, but never get too bored with this one. Siwon is such a crazy man and this romance comedy would be loved by all korean drama's lovers, i guess.
 
And I am also watching Strongest Deliveryman which ended several days ago.


Drama

Secret Forest aka Stranger : A Fan Review

21.56

September 30, 2017
 

Title: Secret Forest / Stranger
Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller
 
This 16 episodes drama cycle around the major political issue. Hwang Shi-Mok (Jo Seung-Woo), known as aloof prosecutor whose surgery from years ago took away his ability to feel emotions assigned to solve the mysteries that bridge him toward Han Yeo-Jin (Bae Doona), a woman detective who is eager to reveal the truth behind the puzzles.

It has been completed in several weeks ago, though. I am still amazed on how the director and writer could consistently persist the tense to the end. Jo Seung-Woo was able to bring the character very plainly cute. This is just my personal comment, I love it how he managed to capture the act of being confuse with his own affect, since he actually an emotionless human being.

The first episode started with the murder case of a businessman who thought to be involved in bribery cases among politician. This actually, the inlet of the whole stories behind. How the murder actually involved a very complicated motive with vague suspect.

Honestly, I couldn't portray of what actually the writer expect. I kept on throwing dice to decide which one is the bad, which one is the good, because everyone was just too mysterious. 

I watched it at gomovies and viewasian with english subtitle.


 

Diary

The 35 days - Once in a life

00.48

September 24, 2017



I am guessing of how they would perceive the world from there.
the world that appeared lost for me, the first time I got in.
kilometers away from world's rush.

I wasn't ready to let go off my comfort zone living between amenities. I was laying my self with thousands barriers, not willing to hail. And now it was an enchanted memory I want to brag.

People are full of smiles - and I was forced to be so.
People are accepting sincerely - and it was hard to let it go.


With love
Dusun Cinanas, Desa Cinanas
Kecamatan Bantarkawung, Brebes


Dari Hati

Good Night Whispers

23.55

September 22, 2017

credit to @EmelyMC
If there's one I would tell about you, it would be your good night whispers.
Your deep husky voice streamed through out the night, my night.
Remember? What you never left out of your good night whispers?
a good night word, with awakening laughs.
laughs that failed me to sleep.

Remember? What I told you everyday when your call came?
to stop harassing my theta wave.  
Because your call was a sympathomimetic.
you stupefied me, making my heart got arrhythmic.




A Tale

Vanilla Latte [1]

19.18

September 10, 2017


PROLOGUE
I was putting off the earphones to enjoy one vague song played. I remember when you used to annoy me with loud tape in car, when I was tired and just wanted to shut off from everything. Things you used to annoy me, now is part of every yearning I suffer.

Vanilla latte
a classic espresso beverage with vanilla syrup and creamy milk, just over ice.

a glass of vanilla latte is the most lovable on afternoon, one you used to argue, because it's too sweet. And things still taste the same, it's still sweet, thanks god.
 
you seemed to complain on everything i did over one tall cup of my vanilla latte, getting the table dampen and your book was annoyingly had to be clammy. 

and surprisingly i am still into vanilla latte so much.

i love how it taste and awake me on every cloudy days. one cup can keep me from sleeping over night and you'd nag that you need sleep but i kept wanting to talk to you over the phone, sorry.

Diary

Across My Seat, That Afternoon...

00.28

September 7, 2017

You were offering a smile for me to heal my longing, for me to remember when you were nowhere to reach, because I refuse to trace your steps, because I once again let you go without chains.

Our argues, times ago, were a breaking for me.
Our distances, how we used to be, were a worry for me.

What surprised me was, we weren't awkward to sit together, after all these...
What excited me was, we were all well to talk about things we like...
After all changes, you do, i do, and so does the world.

I examined your eyes, nose, and lips...
as mesmerizing as they were.
I relished your voice...
as lovable as it was.

As the sun set.
We parted, once again.

Waving hands, good-bye greetings, and smile are addiction.
addiction to wait the next time we promise. 


Dari Hati

In Turmoil

01.27

April 24, 2017

As if we are strangers...

Your hello was cold.

Your smile was vacant.

As if we no longer recognize one another.

To certain extend, I want to believe about miracle. It may happen, even if I am not sure of when and how, but I hope that I would meet upon a certain kind of a miracle.

Late afternoon tiptoed through the window of the living room. 

I was in turmoil.

Aren't my eyes painted with black shades? 

Aren't you see the visible scars?

I felt my self a little die either. Uneasy emotion marred my soul, practically the whole act. The air is no better, it smelled like a hassle for some reason. 


Waiting doesn't heal.

Time doesn't conceal.

The right incisively memory still persist like new.

And I have been fed up to chew.


A Tale

Our Last Intersection

18.00

April 22, 2017

credit to @ana_shalamberidze

 I have been too familiar with this intersection to choose another way. I roamed the streets, covered with neon lights. All I had in mind was to walk aimlessly, curing the inflexibility, healing the consternation, cutting the harrowing yearning. Yet, I couldn’t bury all the reverie I keep for you on our last intersection.

Autumn has come to congeal my tears.

These calming cold in the beginning of autumn somehow made my heart a little at ease, the chill that would make my freezing hands comfortable inside a thick coat.  

I heard it’s better to wrap your aching ankle with ice. It blocks your nociceptive nerves. It cut the painful transmitter. And yes, I feel so. My heart slowly turned numb.

…

Clara settled on the wood bench, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate when sensing a shadow besides her, a man took a seat right beside her. “Isn’t it cold to stay out at this autumn?” a voice traveled to her ear.

She gave an automatic smiled as a familiar voice traveled to her ear signing that she had no longer needed to wait.

“Am I too late?” he broke the silence between them.

Clara shook her head and swept her black strand of hair to the back of her ear while trying to capture the color of his eyes that always radiated warmth, the main feature of his face that often caught her in daze.  

Clara often drowned on her own immensity of mind of how he came to barge into her life. When she thought deeper, he embraced her inflexible socializing ways and suffocated her with his friendly act. 

She was hesitated frequently but he succeeded to open her barriers and walk through the imperceptible girl. 

“Should we go now? But it’s drizzling...” he asked.

“It’s okay, These wouldn’t get us all drenched.” She said and got up to start the walk.

There was nothing too distinct in him. We walked with his cheap jokes that always kept me from bore, the same joy he always bring for companion, except for one…

“Clara.” He uttered my name clearly when I realized he wasn’t beside me but three steps behind.

“Yes?”

“I’ll stop here. I wouldn’t walk you home tomorrow and further.”

“Why?” her eyes wandered to the entire of his build that now seems vacant and cold. 

He turned over, refusing to answer her very question, attempting to walk away.

“No!” 

“Where are you going?”

His reticent steps left her, step by step, slowly, making clear distances. 

The drizzles grew awkwardly heavier bore him to another direction.

The world appeared lost for her and she continued walking through the rain. She gave in the weather as it was going worst as the skies went dark. The agonizing moment had now filled her every head corners.

A chorus of voice rose up. Afraid, confused, worry, flat-footed, these emotions she couldn’t hide. He broke the bricks she built. Her strongest and tall as she thought it was at all far from being broken down by the most impossible situation. 

The breaking of autumn air smelled like trouble leaving a permanent mark somewhere on her heart.

…

Today is just another day. I am walking with my own passing the intersection. I sent star-spies to ask how you were keeping and they say you are as warm, as alive, as when you walked away in the intersection.

Between the faint drizzle, where we stood under the traffic light just about to cross the road, without hesitation you let me walk alone to another side. Without telling me, so who do you think I am?

Places

Short Escape

14.51

April 7 - 8, 2017

These was an unplanned short trip.
We booked the tickets and lodging online the night before going.
I had lecture an hour before going.
But we brought a trophy back home, yeay!




The nine floors building in Semarang, if you could see it closely, it's a beach out there. Great view isn't it?



In one of vintage corner in Kota Lama, Semarang.
I walked around before boarding the train to go back home. Such a soothing walks around. 

Dari Hati

I MIght Be Wrong...

20.26

March 11, 2017

credit to: @comegatos011


This is just going to be some revelation from every inflexibility I have been holding the last twelve-months trying to be out of my comfort zone from being an individualist-person, the home-person who rather go home than straying out thinking about things.

I have been into my self too much, maybe, for others to see. But it's just the enough dosages that I want to be into me, my self, and I. Where I put a box inside my mind and eliminate any aliens things out of my box of thinking. Yes, it's been all about me. It just happened to be that way without me knowing that I am begun to looked like a carefree person from anyone's problems, an phlegmatic person who only knows about things that meant for me, no others. 

As I remember, I was a busy student in high-school. It wasn't a normal days  I had back then in high-school. I didn't attend classes as much as my friends did, not sitting on my seat as long as everyone did. Rather, I would be outside preparing for competitions, join training, even camps for days. I read books alone, studying for exams on my own, and I found it really fun to be doing everything alone. It was more effective and I could better grades. 

There was one day I could clearly remember when I had to have physics exams the next day while I never attended classes. I studied on my own, reading three books I bought the night before, I knew right that it was my consequences for being very active student that I needed to study harder than others. I felt ready even there was a slight uncertainties because I didn't get what my friends' got. I came to school and did the examinations quiet well. Do you know what the result I got? I got 97% while more than 70% of my friends caught on a remedial exam. And it always happened, I knew that when I study alone, I read more books and I got more knowledge while my friends usually only read their notes. And from there, I was being too comfortable for being with only my self.

I often watch alone at the cinema, getting my own popcorn and one cup of cola and sitting alone between couples, but that wasn't make me awkward at all. I understood my self the best when I am alone. 

And more...

I am going to say that I got into university in my town, around 15 to 20 minutes away from my home. But that's not my dream university. And honestly, until now I still realize it well how I envy others who are know studying in my dream university there while I am not. There was a condition that prevent me from going out of town. And up til now, I regret it so much. I blame it all on my self how I even couldn't write my dream university on my university application at that time. Why didn't I have a courage to do so?

Well, I came with my apathetic kind of character. I don't care with everything happens around, I just want to go as fast possible from the university. I am not happy, not enjoying any moment. I even tried to limit my self from any activities that would exhaust me a lot.

Up til now, my intention is still to go out as fast as possible, not suffering my heart even further.
If only I could turn back time...

This thought I bear in mind might be wrong for anyone, but I believe I do have my veto to say that I hate this and that, I want this and that, and it's all my privilege as a freedom person to choose what situation is best for me. I might be wrong, but you can't prove the bestest life to have. 

Thoughts

Does World Need Superhero?

21.26

February 25, 2017

I got this question while brainstorming in the mid of my midnight cramming, no offense.


SUPERHERO /ˈsuː.pəˌhɪə.rəʊ/ /ˈsuː.pɚ-/ noun [ C ]
1.                    a character in a film or story who has special strength and uses it to do good things and help other people.
2.                   someone who has done something very brave to help someone else.
Coming from the words super and hero, they were merged into a noun word defining someone who has a special strength and uses it to do good things, well basically getting rid of the villains into phantom zone, or helping people whose houses are in fire, stopping robbery maybe. But yes, they are human.


Human means...
They are the fully developed mammalians? They are the bestest creature that could exist in the world with plus super power. They fall in love, right? Do they have rage? Lust, at least? 
Among hundreds, thousands maybe of superheroes, they all have their own altruism, history of why they have the 'super' word attach to them, or simply a motive of why the dedicate their lives for society's good.
Like, Spiderman!
Peter Parker happened to get bitten by an irradiated spider that turned him into physiologically mutated human and granted his powers superhuman strength; reflexes; and balance, and his special spider web shots that keep him clinging indomitably to most surfaces.
Or, Batman?
The playboy and wealthy Bruce Wayne who live in resentment at his parents murder relies on his genius intellect, physical power, detective knack, and science and technology to eradicate criminals in Gotham.
Maybe, Captain America.
Through super-soldier serum and vita-ray treatment, he was transformed his strength, agility, and rapid recuperating are at the zenith of natural human potential.  
Do we need them?
The images of superheroes tend to be inherent with the depiction of super criminals city, conceiving the idea of how powerless the law is, portraying of how incapable the police officers are. It's a grim circumstance in which I never wanted to go, no one wants to. This is the first justification why I don’t want superheroes exist in my real life. I have ninety-nine problems, but those monsters and zombies won’t be ones.
Secondly, in the idea of justice. For whom?
Our law has regulated as just as it could be on everyone involved, for the criminals, victims, also witnesses. Justice should be created for every human being regardless their bad deeds.
In many scenes of superheroes movies, the act of their defensive action turned into violation of human rights. Rights to be presumed as innocent, rights to attend the court for trial, and many things that have been ruled in law, such as


Miranda Rights:
The circumstances triggering the Miranda safeguards, i.e. Miranda rights, are "custody" and "interrogation". Custody means formal arrest or the deprivation of freedom to an extent associated with formal arrest. Interrogation means explicit questioning or actions that are reasonably likely to elicit an incriminating response.
“The person in custody must, prior to interrogation, be clearly informed that he/she has the right to remain silent, and that anything the person says will be used against that person in court; the person must be clearly informed that he/she has the right to consult with an attorney and to have that attorney present during questioning, and that, if he/she is indigent, an attorney will be provided at no cost to represent him/her.”
Justice can be created into some accounts, such as restorative and retributive justice. And that’s why human make a system in law enforcement in order to achieve the goals of justice. Restorative justice is created to restore, while retributive justice tend to make the villain pay in kind for what he/she had done, or in another word we punish them, for instance by putting them into jail, taking their rights of freedom of living with society.
RESTORE /rɪˈstɔː r / /-ˈstɔːr/ verb [ T ]
1.    to return something or someone to an earlier good condition or position
2.    If you restore a quality or ability that someone has not had for a long time, you make it possible for them to have that quality or ability again

What superheroes do is basically a retributive action by beating the criminals up.
We can say superheroes are vigilantes,

VIGILANTE /ˌvɪdʒ.ɪˈlæn.ti/ /-ˈlæn.t ̬i/ nouna person who tries in an unofficial way to prevent crime, or to catch and punish someone who has committed a crime, especially because they do not think that official organizations, such as the police, are controlling crime effectively. Vigilantes usually join together to form groups.
Yes, they do such a noble act to sacrifice for the society, but violation can’t be handled by the same violation, that’s why law is here.
So do we need superheroes? Well, the answer is yours. But If I were obliged to put a superheroes in this world. I would choose Mexico. I heard the gangster shot the police helicopter.