January 21, 2018

As if time is not ticking, the memory of you never get old.

There has been too much thing I have kept my self, for you, to be told.

If it was only for those reasons, you should have stayed. 

You had never once, said truly how you felt. 

You had never once tried, to even say what you liked.

That way, you let us, be the word that never completed.

Your way, to be used to not saying words, to be used to agree of what I decided, shouldn't let me left distrait.

December 20, 2017

I was carelessly leaving my umbrella home as I didn't expect it to rain.

The forecast failed me that day and I decide to ensconce my self in a book cafe with a warm heater, at the intersection.

Deemed light, quiet, with only a vacant seat near the window because I thought it was rather cold to sit there, well, no other seats available and I didn't have much choices. I comforted my self first, still thinking of what I would do or at least order a glass of worth-enjoyed drink by myself. People were at least talking with someone across, busy with their earphones, and absorbed in a book. 

I left my bag and got up to the counter.

"Vanilla Latte."

"Iced"

there was a lady behind the counter, maybe two to three years older, frowned at me.

"Iced?" she repeated or asked? I didn't have the idea. I frowned back and she looked like finally assured with my frown. 

"it would be 4.5 dollars."

I left the counter to see around the shelves.

Novel. Romance. Shakespeare's to George Eliot's.

Ah, there's one I have been loving since kid, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's Le Petit Prince.

My hand involuntarily took out the book, exactly, at the time my name was called from the counter. My vanilla latte was ready.

They gave me a brown tray.
With a glass of cold vanilla latte, and freebies. 
Two churro-s and chocolate on the white saucer.

And that latter-day, the rain was sadly getting heavier and sky turned dark. It was five to fifteen. And oops! Someone has occupied the seat across where my bag laid.

I would be hurt for him taking anyone's seat but also the guilt would be on me if then I reprimanded giddily.

"your seat?" his very own words travel and firstly laid on my heartbeats, like a pacemaker. I was almost incidentally got arrhythmic from dismay that his voice sounded so collected. No, it's only nothing. I wouldn't say I was mesmerized, just, how he laid his eyes on me ruled my autonomic response. He might take adrenaline before and propagate its effect through either his eyes or voice. Does it sound intellectual? or stupid?

I never known nor read any journals stating adrenaline could deploy through sound or sight, either. But, let's make it sense, first. I wouldn't just be this thumped merely with his single look on me.

"if you don't mind, sharing table is bearable, right?" he continued.

I looked around, scanning the room. No vacant seats, well, he got the point.

That afternoon, the rowdy rains saved me.

December 15, 2017

Days had passed, through the loneliness on the air.

Times had much gone, through the endless calling.

Because without you, I would be always waiting.

Because without you, I believe you'd come, one day.

There was a day, when I hope I would give up on you, because giving up means I would turning my way finding better direction. But my heart seems too steadfast that I can't even replace the rotten part of the memories we had and made it damn torturing. I have learned that there was no one could be you, because even if I am without you, your every shadow still remains, apparently, that I still couldn't believe that you had gone for years.

Good for you.

Not good for me. 

I was wrong.

I was wrong that I let my self to bump into you when in the end nothing would remain except the longing you forced me to swallow. I have been lost, walking too far to find you.

I want you to pay!

for the time being.

I have been looking for you.

I have lost in myriads of tears.

  

November 29, 2017

 November 18, 2017

He came long after I have been in love with vanilla latte iced too much. He filled the remaining spaces inside my heart and sometimes made me lost of breath because he poured me too much loves with his cheesiness. 

Thing, he never figured out is I finally come with permanent logic that vanilla latte should automatically come with his presence, which make it a lot hurts when he doesn't come along with.

The glass slowly marred with dew around. Small drops, trickling down the tube later, ratting the wooden table, finally and it would be time he came with his cup of americano and composed smile. 

there was no need of texts nor calls. 

there was nothing such appointment.

he just knew it he should come.

Vanilla Latte is not merely a glass of coffee with latte. 

Vanilla Latte I was familiar with were plus his presence and shared earphone, plus our little argue of what to listen, plus a pinch he laid on my cheek, plus the gaze from his small eyes.

October 21, 2017

 

These toils almost reach the end, at least, for sometimes, it would finally give me a little break. I am leading my final year's of pre-clinical study. It's been almost three and half years bustling with lectures, lab-works, exams, and all university's dramas. Yes, it's relieving that I am seeing the end, but not yet free from all tensions. 

 

Lectures are still lining up.

My research still has a long way.

And many korean dramas distract my way.

Painfully agree, that the whole week dramas are too good to be ignored.

These are those distracting babies I am currently watching...

1. Witch's Court (KBS2 Mon-Tue) 

  

This drama plot a story of a female prosecutor who is obsessed by winning the case meets a young prosecutor who is a former psychologist. I guess this two prosecutors have somewhat a connection to one another. One decent story about law and politic. 

  

2. 20th Century Boy and Girl (MBC Mon-Tue)

 

 

The reason I am watching this drama is Han Ye Seul. She is always able to pull the characters well and I also love her acting here. It's a light romance drama involving childhood friends. Even though, I am not familiar with the actress and actors here, it's still a refreshing drama to watch. 

  

3. Temperature of Love (SBS Mon-Tue) 

 

 

This is love between not-so noona-and- a young man. I have ever seen these two main leads in a drama before "Romantic Doctor, Teacher Kim". The story evolves around the love between a writer and a chef who are also pursuing their own dreams, marred with triangle loves and work obstacles.  

 

4. Because This is My First Life (tVN Mon-Tue)

 

 

This is one fun drama with thousands of cringe worthy moments. It's a little bit unrealistic love situation, but somehow it's so fun to watch. These simply portray various type of couple, one with financial motives, one with pure love and the obsession to get married, and the other is such a carefree relationship? 

 

5. While You were Sleeping (SBS Wed-Thu)

 

 

Yeah! Lee Jong-suk and Bae Suzy, such an epic match! At first I thought it would be just another romance drama. But these one also involves criminal and court story. It's a plot about a prosecutor, reporter, and a policeman who can foretell the future through their dreams and they try to protect others by preventing them to happen. 

6. Avengers Social Club (tVN Wed-Thu)

 

Three middle-aged women try to get a revenge. Each, with their own history and background. Interesting, fun, and addictive. 

 

7. The Package (JTBC Fri-Sat)

 

 

8. Revolutionary of Love (tVN Sat-Sun) 

 

Just another chaebol and poor girl drama, a classic story, but never get too bored with this one. Siwon is such a crazy man and this romance comedy would be loved by all korean drama's lovers, i guess.

 

And I am also watching Strongest Deliveryman which ended several days ago.

September 30, 2017

 

Title: Secret Forest / Stranger

Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller

 

This 16 episodes drama cycle around the major political issue. Hwang Shi-Mok (Jo Seung-Woo), known as aloof prosecutor whose surgery from years ago took away his ability to feel emotions assigned to solve the mysteries that bridge him toward Han Yeo-Jin (Bae Doona), a woman detective who is eager to reveal the truth behind the puzzles.

It has been completed in several weeks ago, though. I am still amazed on how the director and writer could consistently persist the tense to the end. Jo Seung-Woo was able to bring the character very plainly cute. This is just my personal comment, I love it how he managed to capture the act of being confuse with his own affect, since he actually an emotionless human being.

The first episode started with the murder case of a businessman who thought to be involved in bribery cases among politician. This actually, the inlet of the whole stories behind. How the murder actually involved a very complicated motive with vague suspect.

Honestly, I couldn't portray of what actually the writer expect. I kept on throwing dice to decide which one is the bad, which one is the good, because everyone was just too mysterious. 

I watched it at gomovies and viewasian with english subtitle.

 

September 24, 2017

I am guessing of how they would perceive the world from there.

the world that appeared lost for me, the first time I got in.

kilometers away from world's rush.

I wasn't ready to let go off my comfort zone living between amenities. I was laying my self with thousands barriers, not willing to hail. And now it was an enchanted memory I want to brag.

People are full of smiles - and I was forced to be so.

People are accepting sincerely - and it was hard to let it go.

With love

Dusun Cinanas, Desa Cinanas

Kecamatan Bantarkawung, Brebes

September 22, 2017

If there's one I would tell about you, it would be your good night whispers.

Your deep husky voice streamed through out the night, my night.

Remember? What you never left out of your good night whispers?

a good night word, with awakening laughs.

laughs that failed me to sleep.

Remember? What I told you everyday when your call came?

to stop harassing my theta wave.  

Because your call was a sympathomimetic.

you stupefied me, making my heart got arrhythmic.

September 10, 2017

PROLOGUE

I was putting off the earphones to enjoy one vague song played. I remember when you used to annoy me with loud tape in car, when I was tired and just wanted to shut off from everything. Things you used to annoy me, now is part of every yearning I suffer.

Vanilla latte

a classic espresso beverage with vanilla syrup and creamy milk, just over ice.

a glass of vanilla latte is the most lovable on afternoon, one you used to argue, because it's too sweet. And things still taste the same, it's still sweet, thanks god.
 

you seemed to complain on everything i did over one tall cup of my vanilla latte, getting the table dampen and your book was annoyingly had to be clammy. 

and surprisingly i am still into vanilla latte so much.

i love how it taste and awake me on every cloudy days. one cup can keep me from sleeping over night and you'd nag that you need sleep but i kept wanting to talk to you over the phone, sorry.