A Tale

Vanilla Latte [1]

19.18

September 10, 2017


PROLOGUE
I was putting off the earphones to enjoy one vague song played. I remember when you used to annoy me with loud tape in car, when I was tired and just wanted to shut off from everything. Things you used to annoy me, now is part of every yearning I suffer.

Vanilla latte
a classic espresso beverage with vanilla syrup and creamy milk, just over ice.

a glass of vanilla latte is the most lovable on afternoon, one you used to argue, because it's too sweet. And things still taste the same, it's still sweet, thanks god.
 
you seemed to complain on everything i did over one tall cup of my vanilla latte, getting the table dampen and your book was annoyingly had to be clammy. 

and surprisingly i am still into vanilla latte so much.

i love how it taste and awake me on every cloudy days. one cup can keep me from sleeping over night and you'd nag that you need sleep but i kept wanting to talk to you over the phone, sorry.

Diary

Across My Seat, That Afternoon...

00.28

September 7, 2017

You were offering a smile for me to heal my longing, for me to remember when you were nowhere to reach, because I refuse to trace your steps, because I once again let you go without chains.

Our argues, times ago, were a breaking for me.
Our distances, how we used to be, were a worry for me.

What surprised me was, we weren't awkward to sit together, after all these...
What excited me was, we were all well to talk about things we like...
After all changes, you do, i do, and so does the world.

I examined your eyes, nose, and lips...
as mesmerizing as they were.
I relished your voice...
as lovable as it was.

As the sun set.
We parted, once again.

Waving hands, good-bye greetings, and smile are addiction.
addiction to wait the next time we promise. 


Dari Hati

In Turmoil

01.27

April 24, 2017

As if we are strangers...

Your hello was cold.

Your smile was vacant.

As if we no longer recognize one another.

To certain extend, I want to believe about miracle. It may happen, even if I am not sure of when and how, but I hope that I would meet upon a certain kind of a miracle.

Late afternoon tiptoed through the window of the living room. 

I was in turmoil.

Aren't my eyes painted with black shades? 

Aren't you see the visible scars?

I felt my self a little die either. Uneasy emotion marred my soul, practically the whole act. The air is no better, it smelled like a hassle for some reason. 


Waiting doesn't heal.

Time doesn't conceal.

The right incisively memory still persist like new.

And I have been fed up to chew.


A Tale

Our Last Intersection

18.00

April 22, 2017

credit to @ana_shalamberidze

 I have been too familiar with this intersection to choose another way. I roamed the streets, covered with neon lights. All I had in mind was to walk aimlessly, curing the inflexibility, healing the consternation, cutting the harrowing yearning. Yet, I couldn’t bury all the reverie I keep for you on our last intersection.

Autumn has come to congeal my tears.

These calming cold in the beginning of autumn somehow made my heart a little at ease, the chill that would make my freezing hands comfortable inside a thick coat.  

I heard it’s better to wrap your aching ankle with ice. It blocks your nociceptive nerves. It cut the painful transmitter. And yes, I feel so. My heart slowly turned numb.

…

Clara settled on the wood bench, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate when sensing a shadow besides her, a man took a seat right beside her. “Isn’t it cold to stay out at this autumn?” a voice traveled to her ear.

She gave an automatic smiled as a familiar voice traveled to her ear signing that she had no longer needed to wait.

“Am I too late?” he broke the silence between them.

Clara shook her head and swept her black strand of hair to the back of her ear while trying to capture the color of his eyes that always radiated warmth, the main feature of his face that often caught her in daze.  

Clara often drowned on her own immensity of mind of how he came to barge into her life. When she thought deeper, he embraced her inflexible socializing ways and suffocated her with his friendly act. 

She was hesitated frequently but he succeeded to open her barriers and walk through the imperceptible girl. 

“Should we go now? But it’s drizzling...” he asked.

“It’s okay, These wouldn’t get us all drenched.” She said and got up to start the walk.

There was nothing too distinct in him. We walked with his cheap jokes that always kept me from bore, the same joy he always bring for companion, except for one…

“Clara.” He uttered my name clearly when I realized he wasn’t beside me but three steps behind.

“Yes?”

“I’ll stop here. I wouldn’t walk you home tomorrow and further.”

“Why?” her eyes wandered to the entire of his build that now seems vacant and cold. 

He turned over, refusing to answer her very question, attempting to walk away.

“No!” 

“Where are you going?”

His reticent steps left her, step by step, slowly, making clear distances. 

The drizzles grew awkwardly heavier bore him to another direction.

The world appeared lost for her and she continued walking through the rain. She gave in the weather as it was going worst as the skies went dark. The agonizing moment had now filled her every head corners.

A chorus of voice rose up. Afraid, confused, worry, flat-footed, these emotions she couldn’t hide. He broke the bricks she built. Her strongest and tall as she thought it was at all far from being broken down by the most impossible situation. 

The breaking of autumn air smelled like trouble leaving a permanent mark somewhere on her heart.

…

Today is just another day. I am walking with my own passing the intersection. I sent star-spies to ask how you were keeping and they say you are as warm, as alive, as when you walked away in the intersection.

Between the faint drizzle, where we stood under the traffic light just about to cross the road, without hesitation you let me walk alone to another side. Without telling me, so who do you think I am?

Places

Short Escape

14.51

April 7 - 8, 2017

These was an unplanned short trip.
We booked the tickets and lodging online the night before going.
I had lecture an hour before going.
But we brought a trophy back home, yeay!




The nine floors building in Semarang, if you could see it closely, it's a beach out there. Great view isn't it?



In one of vintage corner in Kota Lama, Semarang.
I walked around before boarding the train to go back home. Such a soothing walks around. 

Dari Hati

I MIght Be Wrong...

20.26

March 11, 2017

credit to: @comegatos011


This is just going to be some revelation from every inflexibility I have been holding the last twelve-months trying to be out of my comfort zone from being an individualist-person, the home-person who rather go home than straying out thinking about things.

I have been into my self too much, maybe, for others to see. But it's just the enough dosages that I want to be into me, my self, and I. Where I put a box inside my mind and eliminate any aliens things out of my box of thinking. Yes, it's been all about me. It just happened to be that way without me knowing that I am begun to looked like a carefree person from anyone's problems, an phlegmatic person who only knows about things that meant for me, no others. 

As I remember, I was a busy student in high-school. It wasn't a normal days  I had back then in high-school. I didn't attend classes as much as my friends did, not sitting on my seat as long as everyone did. Rather, I would be outside preparing for competitions, join training, even camps for days. I read books alone, studying for exams on my own, and I found it really fun to be doing everything alone. It was more effective and I could better grades. 

There was one day I could clearly remember when I had to have physics exams the next day while I never attended classes. I studied on my own, reading three books I bought the night before, I knew right that it was my consequences for being very active student that I needed to study harder than others. I felt ready even there was a slight uncertainties because I didn't get what my friends' got. I came to school and did the examinations quiet well. Do you know what the result I got? I got 97% while more than 70% of my friends caught on a remedial exam. And it always happened, I knew that when I study alone, I read more books and I got more knowledge while my friends usually only read their notes. And from there, I was being too comfortable for being with only my self.

I often watch alone at the cinema, getting my own popcorn and one cup of cola and sitting alone between couples, but that wasn't make me awkward at all. I understood my self the best when I am alone. 

And more...

I am going to say that I got into university in my town, around 15 to 20 minutes away from my home. But that's not my dream university. And honestly, until now I still realize it well how I envy others who are know studying in my dream university there while I am not. There was a condition that prevent me from going out of town. And up til now, I regret it so much. I blame it all on my self how I even couldn't write my dream university on my university application at that time. Why didn't I have a courage to do so?

Well, I came with my apathetic kind of character. I don't care with everything happens around, I just want to go as fast possible from the university. I am not happy, not enjoying any moment. I even tried to limit my self from any activities that would exhaust me a lot.

Up til now, my intention is still to go out as fast as possible, not suffering my heart even further.
If only I could turn back time...

This thought I bear in mind might be wrong for anyone, but I believe I do have my veto to say that I hate this and that, I want this and that, and it's all my privilege as a freedom person to choose what situation is best for me. I might be wrong, but you can't prove the bestest life to have. 

Thoughts

Does World Need Superhero?

21.26

February 25, 2017

I got this question while brainstorming in the mid of my midnight cramming, no offense.


SUPERHERO /ˈsuː.pəˌhɪə.rəʊ/ /ˈsuː.pɚ-/ noun [ C ]
1.                    a character in a film or story who has special strength and uses it to do good things and help other people.
2.                   someone who has done something very brave to help someone else.
Coming from the words super and hero, they were merged into a noun word defining someone who has a special strength and uses it to do good things, well basically getting rid of the villains into phantom zone, or helping people whose houses are in fire, stopping robbery maybe. But yes, they are human.


Human means...
They are the fully developed mammalians? They are the bestest creature that could exist in the world with plus super power. They fall in love, right? Do they have rage? Lust, at least? 
Among hundreds, thousands maybe of superheroes, they all have their own altruism, history of why they have the 'super' word attach to them, or simply a motive of why the dedicate their lives for society's good.
Like, Spiderman!
Peter Parker happened to get bitten by an irradiated spider that turned him into physiologically mutated human and granted his powers superhuman strength; reflexes; and balance, and his special spider web shots that keep him clinging indomitably to most surfaces.
Or, Batman?
The playboy and wealthy Bruce Wayne who live in resentment at his parents murder relies on his genius intellect, physical power, detective knack, and science and technology to eradicate criminals in Gotham.
Maybe, Captain America.
Through super-soldier serum and vita-ray treatment, he was transformed his strength, agility, and rapid recuperating are at the zenith of natural human potential.  
Do we need them?
The images of superheroes tend to be inherent with the depiction of super criminals city, conceiving the idea of how powerless the law is, portraying of how incapable the police officers are. It's a grim circumstance in which I never wanted to go, no one wants to. This is the first justification why I don’t want superheroes exist in my real life. I have ninety-nine problems, but those monsters and zombies won’t be ones.
Secondly, in the idea of justice. For whom?
Our law has regulated as just as it could be on everyone involved, for the criminals, victims, also witnesses. Justice should be created for every human being regardless their bad deeds.
In many scenes of superheroes movies, the act of their defensive action turned into violation of human rights. Rights to be presumed as innocent, rights to attend the court for trial, and many things that have been ruled in law, such as


Miranda Rights:
The circumstances triggering the Miranda safeguards, i.e. Miranda rights, are "custody" and "interrogation". Custody means formal arrest or the deprivation of freedom to an extent associated with formal arrest. Interrogation means explicit questioning or actions that are reasonably likely to elicit an incriminating response.
“The person in custody must, prior to interrogation, be clearly informed that he/she has the right to remain silent, and that anything the person says will be used against that person in court; the person must be clearly informed that he/she has the right to consult with an attorney and to have that attorney present during questioning, and that, if he/she is indigent, an attorney will be provided at no cost to represent him/her.”
Justice can be created into some accounts, such as restorative and retributive justice. And that’s why human make a system in law enforcement in order to achieve the goals of justice. Restorative justice is created to restore, while retributive justice tend to make the villain pay in kind for what he/she had done, or in another word we punish them, for instance by putting them into jail, taking their rights of freedom of living with society.
RESTORE /rɪˈstɔː r / /-ˈstɔːr/ verb [ T ]
1.    to return something or someone to an earlier good condition or position
2.    If you restore a quality or ability that someone has not had for a long time, you make it possible for them to have that quality or ability again

What superheroes do is basically a retributive action by beating the criminals up.
We can say superheroes are vigilantes,

VIGILANTE /ˌvɪdʒ.ɪˈlæn.ti/ /-ˈlæn.t ̬i/ nouna person who tries in an unofficial way to prevent crime, or to catch and punish someone who has committed a crime, especially because they do not think that official organizations, such as the police, are controlling crime effectively. Vigilantes usually join together to form groups.
Yes, they do such a noble act to sacrifice for the society, but violation can’t be handled by the same violation, that’s why law is here.
So do we need superheroes? Well, the answer is yours. But If I were obliged to put a superheroes in this world. I would choose Mexico. I heard the gangster shot the police helicopter.

Thoughts

Education: Discipline yet Friendly

15.41

December 25, 2016


As you age, you’ll develops your own theories of how you want to act in your entire life. Everyone has their own art in choosing thousands of wisdom and lessons, to choose one or to seek their own way. I have been going to school, receiving all sorts of preach from teachers for seventeen years now and I feel like I have my own freedom to convey any values ​​and morals which ever been instilled.

Formal education plays an important role in preparing everyone to determine of  what kind of person they will grow and develop. What good education would help? Friendly Education.

The theory put forward by William Glasser can describe what kind of education should be done. Glasser said that there are four basic needs of children, freedom, achievements, joy, and love, and these four points should be instillled in school. Teachers, should be able to ensure classrooms are fun and interesting for every student, despite their misbehave behavior. Misbehave behavior of each student is a proof that freedom is still exist, but in a condition that consequences are also available. A teacher is allowed to own the right of authority in the classroom to control conducive situation.

This is one form of discipline. Assertive discipline is a solution to misbehave behavior. According to Lee and Marlene Canter, discipline aims to teach students to choose the action that can be accounted for. Discipline may take place on condition that a teacher should not waver in the face of student behavior that tries to beg, bribe, cry, angry, aggressive or sulk.
One of the failures that often hamper the progress of discipline value is inconsistency in applying the rules. Friendly education is an education accommodated with love and compassion. However this is often used as a proposition to release a student who is at fault. For a teacher, showing care, sympathy, even empathy is essential to establish respect in students. But, to be objective is also important to establish the student responsible.

Science

Chocolate: A Happy Booster

13.00

December 9, 2016

O–nice life, while I am still able to feel my head fully compressed by shattered and scattered lectures’ matters, papers, readings, cheap typical dilemma of teenager, and all those bugs filling every single space of my lobes. Ha-ha, how nice…

THAT’S–what makes curse is damn heavenly good.

In today’s 24/7 world, stress affects us in myriads ways. From the light-simple bad mood to the badly extreme migraine, from the unknown reason crying and yelling to excessive unstoppable munching habit. Those are all how people will define and notify that they are in one of “stressed-out” phase of life. True?

Then, what would one do to relieve their stress? to at least escape from the inflexible feeling of the heart?

Most of them would run around the town.

Go dating? Hmm… seeing his smile is an answer of all problems.

Yelling out loud, cursing, swearing. Oh-damn, I owe so much to those who found those words of curse. 

But… I would walk to the convenient store, grabbing one bar of $1 delfi chocolate, one with almond inside. First of all, it’s not tiring. Secondly, I am not really sure if I have someone to go dating with. 

Thirdly, I hate when my throat sore from all shouting. The last, it’s sweet and comfort me.
“Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment“
anonymously written-a nice quote found in a Journal.

Parker and Crawford had proven that from 3000 individuals with clinical depression, 45% showed their crave for eating chocolate reasoning it would help them with their mood. Chocolate has been used as clinical therapy since the days of the Aztecs. Interesting?




Some researchers concluded that chocolate has therapeutic effect on modulating stress. It was reported that consuming 50 g of dark chocolate could decrease stress reactivity through suppressing cortisol synthesis from adrenal gland. The modulating effect of chocolate is done by inhibiting serotonin degradation and prolongs its action on creating happiness. Salsalinol (SAL) contents in chocolate also bind to dopamine receptors which affect reward system and endorphins production. 

Another interesting mechanism of chocolate psychoactive effect is acted by the nutritional value. High intake of high-carbohydrate and tryptophan would increase your insulin’s plasma level. Insulin plays crucial role as amino acid transporter and help tryptophan decreasing their competitor passing blood-brain barrier to be converted into serotonin. Thus, it’s an important mechanism which increase serotonin level in brain post-synapse. 

By the way, I am just finding my own justification and excuses to keep enjoying chocolate despite the weight-gain I am facing. Whatever it takes, make your self happy first! Happy, happy :)

Dari Hati

21.21

December 7, 2016

Di mana rindu ini akan bermuara?
Di antara ribuan teriknya hati yang menunggu.

Rasanya, aku mulai tak percaya dan merasa tak adil tentang "waktu yang akan menjawab..."
tak adil karena lambat laun aku menjadi lelah menunggu.

Bisakah kita hentikan candaan yang mulai tak lucu ini?
Dengan apapun caranya.

 Tak terasa...
mungkin malam mulai bosan mendengarkan.
aku juga mulai bosan.

rasa itu tak memiliki dimensi.
tapi melampaui jarak dan waktu itu bukannya tak sulit kan? 
tak mudah.

hampir tujuh tahun itu bukan main-main.
lama.
dan perasaan itu masih teretensi di sini, dengan rindu dan resah yang semakin membuatnya berkarat.

untuk kesekian kalinya, aku yang menjadi ragu.