How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height.

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

by the back sound of Yiruma's What Beautiful Stars.

One must be frustrated when realizing his chest is overflown by the unfamiliar feeling yet breezy, no?

Life is such a tease, only seeing how you smile something inside me is jumping like a frog between rains. Neurotransmitter? Maybe it's such a thing the book said, induced my seventh cranial nerve to move forming a smile, maybe it's such a thing that make my heart feels at ease. I can't describe it further, how my body reacts on that carbonated smile.

Why carbonated?

Just as how it was described, it's fizzy because it contains bubbles that fill up my chest, giving smarting sensation yet banging, making my rise and fall chest hurt because too much carbon dioxide, but addictive.

Dear the owner of the carbonated smile...

You got me.

I don't know what to call this feeling, it could only be a simple admiration...

World enters a new sequence of dynamic changes, where feminism finds its comeback, where using bra can be counted as restricting woman’s right, well not all, but for some…

Sadly, we keep moving on from bad to worse, to the worst. For a decade, we have fought to give woman legal and reproductive rights, pursuing higher education, topping the trades and professions, and even reversing the beliefs about their social role, not to mention, house-husband is quite popular now.

Dealing with thousand of exasperation and reproaches didn’t make it enough for them to bend. The affluent, educated, liberated women, there, do not feel as free as they want to. Instead of contemplating their apparent frivolous fool, concerning whether the dress would work on them is too much taking place.

Well, thing to concern about woman isn’t more how to take them in politics. Thing to concern now is how to make them domestic and passive…

Women destined to live as a pure existence, could I say an incarnation of angel without wings?

Found a heartrending clips above, it’s an allusion. Where in one side women share their artless affections, on the other side women show no differences from demons.

The idea of feminism little-or-much, has contorted people’s mind and not impossible, their heart. 

Woman is fragile, their heart maybe made out of plastic or glass, they need to be protected, handled with cares, no? 

“yes.” 

I believe most of us will completely say yes.

I never heard them vowing as a monk to be pure and chastity, but doesn’t mean it’s okay to see thousand of babies thrown out in the street. Sad thing to mention, they become heartless?

Demi rasa yang tuhan limpahkan pada semesta, mungkin rindu harus tetap berujung rindu. Agar hangat rasanya, dua orang saling merindu dalam jarak yang tak menentu. Kalaupun aku mampu untuk mengurai seberapa panjang jingga ini akan terbentang, tak pasti juga aku akan menemukanmu, pria manis yang mengisi anganku. Aku tak ingin mencari apalagi berlari menyusuri raut yang kau sisakan untukku tahu tempatmu berada. Aku tak berani menghadap, menatap, walau sekejap, entah apa, tapi aku ragu.

Mungkin tuhan membuatnya jalannya, di mana kita bertemu melalui birama-birama rumit yang kita suka memainkannya menjadi nada manis di ata piano. Mungkin itu juga mengapa, aku tak bisa menjaga dan berpura-pura untuk tidak gugup saat siapapun memainkan piano. Karena rasanya, aku ingin kembali pada saat itu, ketika nyanyian yang paling aku suka adalah raut lembut wajahmu yang bersahaja saat memainkan nada sederhana. Sederhana pun mampu membuatku jatuh berulang kali...

Raut indah malam yang telah larut bersama sedikit resah, aku tak menemukan lelah untuk kemudian menyerah. Bukan tak pernah ku coba, tapi bagaimanapun itu, semua hanya menjadi sia. Ternyata aku masih ingin mengingatmu, di antara hujan yang tengah turun, mungkin salah satunya adalah bias wajahmu.

Sudah lama, kan?

Biasanya kita bertemu lewat pesan singkat yang membuatku hanya senyum-senyum saja...

Entah dari sudut mana ku memandangmu dibalik angin musim semi yang hangat, kau tetap menjadi sosok yang tak pernah ku lupa. Saatnya hujan untuk berhenti meneteskan kasihnya, saatnya langit untuk tersenyum membalut sinar matamu dengan cahaya indahnya, bola mata yang kecoklatan, yang sinarnya tak pernah sirna dari anganku...

Sudah berapa lama? Tepatnya berapa musim semi yang telah terlewati? Sejak jejakmu menjauh dan pergi?

Mungkin aku tak akan lagi mengenalmu, wajah manismu yang dulu, mungkin telah berhias dengan mimpi-mimpimu dengan semua cita yang sebentar lagi kau akan dapatkan. Mungkin kau menjadi jauh lebih tinggi, mungkin saja kita tak akan pernah lagi bisa bersandar bersama, karena kau telah tumbuh menjadi dirimu yang sekarang...

Untuk musim semi yang terlewati, disetiap mahkota bunga yang tertidur panjang selama musim dingin, aku tak pernah lupa untuk merindukanmu. Walau telah tertutup salju ataupun membeku, walau telah terbungkus embun atau rapuh berdebu, aku tak pernah lelah untuk merindukanmu.

Aku ingin selalu mengajakmu berirama, bersama ilalang yang kini dapat bertemu jingga, entah kau mendengarnya atau tidak, aku ingin mengajakmu bercengkerama, lewat kicauan burung yang kembali ceria di bawah mega.

Mungkin tidak bisa?

Mungkin hanya sebatas asa?

Atau mungkin hanya setengah rasa?

Tak apa, jikapun kau tak mampu mendengarku, jikapun kau telah menumpuk ku jauh di bawah masa-masa indahmu kini, selama aku masih mampu melihat jingga, itu artinya kau baik-baik saja.

Kau wajah manis yang muncul di sela jingga, dulu...

Yang membuatku tahu, walaupun mega hanya sekekap berwarna ungu, tapi hangatnya, dapatku rasa sebanyak yang aku mampu...

Walaupun aku tak tahu seberapa jauh jingga ini terurai, tapi jika senja hadir, kau pasti akan baik-baik saja...

Untukmu, rindu yang rindang, seperti teduhnya rimbun ilalang...

"I learn many different values from many people and situations..."

It's by no mere accident or coincidence that we eventually met. At the earlier part of my stay in this new surroundings, I remember so well a heartfelt welcome that was so prevailed with sincerity. Earlier when I haven't had the idea what to call them, they already engaged me as if we are a family. Thank you for showing me how to deal with the adversity that life now seems much more effortless with joy surrounds us.

And today, your many years of hard work have finally paid off. So, move on to your next adventures and embrace whatever comes at you. Congratulations!

In every season that we come, just about everything in between, we would encounter many different emotions. The happy. The Sad. The High. The low, just everything...

New semester started in the beginning of march, back to the repetitive bustle, between books, lab-works, and mid-night cramming. Life is just gonna be this way for some years ahead and that's what I have to realize and aware. 

"Persisting through this adventure isn't only the thing, because it's not something rare."

A new start means a new hope, a new chance to list wishes and revelation.

Fighting!!

"I can't dance, but once my hands meet their comfort dwelling, my fingers will inevitably jiggle to arrange a beautiful melody of my heart..."

piano

a large musical instrument with a row of black and white keys which are pressed to play notes.

"That's how they describe a beautiful existence called piano, a musical instrument."

music

a pattern of sounds made by musical instruments, singing or computers, or a combination of these, intended to give pleasure to people listening to it.

"I like how they write it, to give pleasure to people listening to it."

Once, a long time ago, I have ever thought of how magical people make music. They gave their hearty emotions, joy, sorrow, wrath, even anxiety. They even can turn the most quizzical feeling into an existence called music.

A long time ago, I dreamed of how exciting to be a pianist, living around with every single melody that comes to mind. When there's no words needed, when there's no one to talk to, a piece of music can relieve the inflexible in the heart, making our own ecstasy. Myriads of elation that no one can reach, that's how I fancied of being a girl in front of the piano.

"But now I have come to realize, I have forgotten that beautiful thing behind, that lyrical thing has only become my childhood dream."

Do you know how happy people meet their passion? Maybe, I couldn't say piano is a passion in my life, but it has been one of my diversion, something that I love to do, something i always long for.

A story of how I met my first love sometimes ago, it was all being witnessed with a song by Nikka Costa that I used to play that time, moments when I realize how happy it was to love someone, it was all recorded with a song entitled Moon River, all the stage of my adolescence, I passed it with different refrain. It was even so stirring how I sang my own birthday song.

Tonight, I try to sit back on my piano stool. Playing a bit of an exquisite song, guess it how it feels? I am happy. It's sole feeling smeared throughout my heart. Why? I am not sure but it's how I can feel. I want to keep playing...

What are you doing on holiday? Going abroad? Reunion? or simply being a couch potato? Well, I practically do nothing, just get up in every morning spending my times mostly for watching movies, dramas, reality shows, reading some books I like, or writing fan-fictions. That's enough for killing the time and now I come with this great drama I am watching currently, well not yet finished.

Title:    Gap Dong-i

Genre: Crime, Mystery, Melodrama, Action, Thriller

This drama was broadcasted on tvN, in 2014. Honestly, I wasn't really interested with the synopsis of the story at first, the reason I downloaded and finally watched this drama was all about the cast. Because there's Lee Joon (acted as Ryu Tae Oh) of MBLAQ and Kim Ji Won (acted as Ma Ji Wol) I watched it and hell, I am more into the story line now than the casts. It's too great for a drama...

Gap Dong-i tells us mainly about a criminal investigations about serial killings based on the real Hwaseong Serial Murders. Those series of serial killing were occurred in Hwaseong, South Korea and murdered ten women with a various ages. This crime is also similar with an unsolved serial killing from English, Jack The Ripper, occurred around White chapel district of London in 1888.

The problematic scene started when finally series of incidents occurred in the town which was suspected as a a comeback of Gap Dong. Many speculations pop of whether this is the same Gap Dong who did the vicious killing years ago or this is just a resemblance.

What makes this drama more interesting is the involvement of various interest of every cast to finish the case. Ha Moo Yeom, a detective who holds a grudge to bust the main suspect of the murder because of his wrongly accused father. Oh Maria, a psychiatrist who had experienced in meeting the real Gap Dong face in face in her childhood. Ryu Tae Oh, a psychopath who considers Gap Dong as his god. Ma Ji Wol, a high-schooler and webtoon artist in which her webtoon ends up foretelling the crime.

Currently in my first holiday with 'varsity-student' status. No books, no lab-work's reports, no pre lab-work's assignment, finally I'll let my brain to enjoy how refreshing it is to breath between rain. But the hell I should be aware is that my final score hasn't outed yet! It's still mystery! It's still a puzzle! And to be true, I am living among uncertainty. Not that it really matters so I can't enjoy my holiday to the fullest yet, but you know what expression will you get from mama and papa if it finally turns out too far from their expectation (wish it won't happen, wish god pours me with thousands of miracles).

Wanna tell you a story, a bit horror yet thriller. Promise! You would never find this in any other box office but here, they called the title as Life as Medical Student

Thrilled? Ouch--you would never imagine how those thick books oozed out liters of blood.

Feel alarmed? Gosh--you would be in cardiac arrest if you weren't careful

Among the spooky novels or films I watched, I had never known such things until then I was trapped into  this situation as a med-student.

First of all you need to know is your life would be completely different, distinct, from what usual people have. Be ready to say goodbye to hung out everyday in cafe or what you call that, prepare your heart to experience the most dynamic u-turn, or what you call that, don't ever compare to your own experience riding roller-coaster, because falling from roller-coaster will be painful and you might die, but falling from this journey you would feel confused, it's damn painful in the same way you would feel out of mind, and you never know you would experience sudden death because of frustration or crushed by truck (it could happen because even if you finish your day, all the matters will be packed fully in your way back home)

Second of all, if you are getting here just for earning cool title as doctor or piping your fad, I would happily say you completely OUT! OUT! you know OUT! man without passion? OUT! It's not a kidding you crazy! Because remained alive until the end of the story is already so great, because many people say they are misplaced, because half of them regret, but if you sincerely getting here at least for the sake of your dream, you would be happy, because those devastating things make you one step closer to reach your dream, because your sacrifices end in no waste. 

Third of all, you need to be self-conscious. How bad you craved for being a doctor, how much you cried as much as you want to be a doctor, please sit down calmly, reflect your self! What your goal for being a doctor? Do you think it's possible? How great is your score? How hard your parents would work to pay the fee? Think carefully, put aside your emotion, face the reality, being rational! With that, you wouldn't be disappointed, with that you wouldn't be hurt.

If you are a long-life learner, so you would be a good doctor...

If you are capable of sacrificing your life, so you would be a good doctor...

If you would spend your life as a sleep-deprived or underpaid slave, so you would be a good doctor...

Fighting! 

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

-Art Williams-

 

Regards,

Happy birthday, gorgeous!

Happy blessed birthday

To a certain extend, I want to believe about miracle. It may happen, even if I am not sure of when and how, but I hope that we would meet upon a certain kind of miracle.

I wish that soon I'll be able too see you in face...

Happy birthday, don't catch cold