Currently in my first holiday with 'varsity-student' status. No books, no lab-work's reports, no pre lab-work's assignment, finally I'll let my brain to enjoy how refreshing it is to breath between rain. But the hell I should be aware is that my final score hasn't outed yet! It's still mystery! It's still a puzzle! And to be true, I am living among uncertainty. Not that it really matters so I can't enjoy my holiday to the fullest yet, but you know what expression will you get from mama and papa if it finally turns out too far from their expectation (wish it won't happen, wish god pours me with thousands of miracles).

Wanna tell you a story, a bit horror yet thriller. Promise! You would never find this in any other box office but here, they called the title as Life as Medical Student

Thrilled? Ouch--you would never imagine how those thick books oozed out liters of blood.

Feel alarmed? Gosh--you would be in cardiac arrest if you weren't careful

Among the spooky novels or films I watched, I had never known such things until then I was trapped into  this situation as a med-student.

First of all you need to know is your life would be completely different, distinct, from what usual people have. Be ready to say goodbye to hung out everyday in cafe or what you call that, prepare your heart to experience the most dynamic u-turn, or what you call that, don't ever compare to your own experience riding roller-coaster, because falling from roller-coaster will be painful and you might die, but falling from this journey you would feel confused, it's damn painful in the same way you would feel out of mind, and you never know you would experience sudden death because of frustration or crushed by truck (it could happen because even if you finish your day, all the matters will be packed fully in your way back home)

Second of all, if you are getting here just for earning cool title as doctor or piping your fad, I would happily say you completely OUT! OUT! you know OUT! man without passion? OUT! It's not a kidding you crazy! Because remained alive until the end of the story is already so great, because many people say they are misplaced, because half of them regret, but if you sincerely getting here at least for the sake of your dream, you would be happy, because those devastating things make you one step closer to reach your dream, because your sacrifices end in no waste. 

Third of all, you need to be self-conscious. How bad you craved for being a doctor, how much you cried as much as you want to be a doctor, please sit down calmly, reflect your self! What your goal for being a doctor? Do you think it's possible? How great is your score? How hard your parents would work to pay the fee? Think carefully, put aside your emotion, face the reality, being rational! With that, you wouldn't be disappointed, with that you wouldn't be hurt.

If you are a long-life learner, so you would be a good doctor...

If you are capable of sacrificing your life, so you would be a good doctor...

If you would spend your life as a sleep-deprived or underpaid slave, so you would be a good doctor...

Fighting! 

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

-Art Williams-

 

Regards,

Happy birthday, gorgeous!

Happy blessed birthday

To a certain extend, I want to believe about miracle. It may happen, even if I am not sure of when and how, but I hope that we would meet upon a certain kind of miracle.

I wish that soon I'll be able too see you in face...

Happy birthday, don't catch cold

Langit hanya sedikit mendung, tak sampai gelap, tak sampai membuat penat. Awan hanya sedikit bergumpal-gumpal tebal, mungkin mereka rindu satu dengan yang lainnya, mungkin mereka hanya ingin memeluk erat yang lainnya, untuk nantinya kembali berjalan sendiri-sendiri sesuai arah angin, sesuai titah tuhannya.

Cendana berayun-ayun di bawah dahan pohon yang semoga saja tak rapuh, bernyanyi dalam hatinya, lagu lembut, dendang yang menggambarkan hatinya.

Kamu tahu? Gadis itu memandang ujung kakinya, yang dulu tak sebesar sekarang, yang dulu hanya seperti gigi-gigi kelinci. Apa yang dia pikirkan? Angin yang terdengar ditelinganya mendengus dengan nada yang berbeda, mungkin karena irama disektirnya juga telah berubah.

Perubahan. Keajaiban yang paling ditunggu oleh manusia adalah perubahan, akan seperti apa? Akan menjadi bagaimana? Yang selalu dinanti, perubahan...

Dalam kata lain, keajaiban yang paling menakutkan adalah perubahan, akan seperti apa? Akan menjadi bagaimana? Yang selalu menyimpan misteri, perubahan...

Ketika daun-daun kuning itu tak sengaja berguguran, tak sengaja pula ranting-ranting itu menjadi tak berpakaian. Kemudian kita ranting-ranting itu rindu tempatnya berpijak, pohon-pohon besar itu akan menjadi sendirian. Perubahan, bersama menjadi sendiri.

"...terkadang aku tak mengenankan jingga menjadi gelap, tak setiap kali aku suka musim panas menjadi beku, tapi aku bukan pemilik semesta ini, aku tak mampu mengurai panjang senja hingga tak terhingga, aku hanya mampu memandangnya dan menikmatinya jika aku suka, karena aku bukan pemilik semesta ini..."

"How are you doing, my classmates, my schoolmates?"

Senior High School Graduation Ceremony - May 2014

We have moved on to our own adventure, each of us, with different pathways, with different emotions, but I hope still with the same longing for one another. We are trying to embrace whatever comes in sight, and I wish the feeling when we meet eyes-on-eyes will still be wonderful as if we met for the first time years ago. I don't know when the time flew so fast and now it's already six months we walked on separate ways. How did it all go so fast? It's like only yesterday we had a farewell party, saying our own vows. I can't help looking back, how those days spent with you were all so damn beautiful.

We started our journey together as a children, but we were saying goodbye as half-adult...

My favorite quote from popular movie Harry Potter is that saying from Albus Dumbledore: "to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting." Because no matter where we go or what we do, there are challenges waiting for us, the only thing we have to note in mind is to meet those challenges with our head held high and our heart widely opened. And we must to remember this more that taking a challenge isn't enough to get a life, what makes our world moves forward is trying to excel everything we do.

We may not have the power to be an excellent among all people, but we do have the power to try to achieve our own level of excellence. 

Those were things I learned for the short 3 years ago.

There are people who wasn't just being a teacher to explain or demonstrate, but they inspired me much...

Di sela hujan yang sesekali datang, raut wajahmu tak pernah usai tergambar di atas embun-embun yang singgah. Tak kenal pagi atau bahkan ketika senja menghadang, walaupun aku telah mencoba untuk berkali mengusapnya, garis binar yang dulu selalu aku lihat kembali datang. Aku mungkin rindu, aku mungkin telah mulai merindukanmu, lagi, di musim hujan seperti musim lalu...

Begitu dalamnya aku telah mencoba menutup garis matamu, semua yang telah terlalui, telah aku coba untuk menguburnya dalam-dalam, tapi entah angin apa yang menerbangkan pasir-pasir itu, tapi entah siapa yang membukanya lagi...

Aku telah lelah menghitung kapan, sejak terakhir kali aku melihatmu yang sesungguhnya, yang bukan hanya bayangan...

Aku telah lelah menghitung kapan, akhirnya mungkin aku akan melihatmu lagi yang sesunggunya, yang bukan hanya bayangan...